KG's Hideaway

I hate being alone. Oh sure, it's easy to be alone for a little bit here and there but I don't like it for more than just a little bit. Craig has been gone for 40 hours and that's too long. He won't be back for another 48. :::sigh:::

I don't feel very good today at all. I layed in bed and slept off and on for most of the day. Yes, I know that I'm hiding from myself but tha's the easiest way for me to handle it. Tomorrow, however, I've actually made some plans to get some things done and I plan on following through with it.

Being married to Craig is different than anything I've ever experienced or even imagined that I'd experience. We truly love being together, and could spend all day every day together. Most days we start talking about things and before we know it hours have passed by. Oh sure, he gets on my nerves sometimes and I KNOW I get on his but we could easily pass everyday, all day, together.

Sometimes at night as I'm drifting off to sleep, the last thing I'm physically aware of is his hand slowly caressing my face or rolling over to grab my hand. Many, many mornings I was up to find myself curled up right up against him, my arms and legs wrapped up in his. It is at that moment that I feel true peace. He'd never let anyone hurt me and I have such complete faith that he'd always do right by me.

You always hear people say, "My husband (or wife) is my best friend." I'm sure they are and would never say something that intimates that I believe me relationship is better/stronger than anyone elses. But how many people can truly, 100% honestly say that their spouse knows their worst, most embarassing secret. I'd told him things about my life that I'm ashamed of doing or being a part of. I've told him everything and not one single time have I ever felt shame from judgement by him. There is so much safety and comfort in my life because I don't have to hide myself from him. Some days it isn't easy for me to tell him how I'm feeling, because I know I can easily get caught up in feeling sorry for myself and I can only imagine that he gets tired of it but then he always seems to see through me, right to my heart.

Sometimes he tells me that he knows something's going on because of how I'm acting, but usually he says he can tell by the type of music I will listen to on some days. He reads my mind and my heart and loves me anyway. He loves me in spite of myself and that is more than I could ever ask for.

He's just such a good man. He's honest, hardworking, spiritual and fun. He never gives less than 100% and is always trying to do the right thing. He's just amazing and I feel so blessed to have him in my life. He is perfect for me.

So for now, it's back to my big lonely bed to snuggle with the dogs. They do their best to keep me from being lonely. Go ahead, you can think I'm crazy if you want... I don't care. They, especially Woody, clearly react to my emotions and if you don't believe me that's ok. Craig swears that Woody speaks "human" and Jade, while not nearly as smart as Woody, is just a big lover all the time and wants to make everyone happy. I'll take that!