KG's Hideaway

Oh, God... how did this happen? All these years we planned for this; knew it would happen but a fat lot of good that's doing me today. I could just fall apart at any minute.

I didn't cry when we did this with Austin, though I always just expected it. He is the other half of my personality and we just operate in much the same manner. But when he packed him up and drove him to Stephenville (about an hour and 15 minutes away) I was just happy for him. He's so stinkin' smart with an IQ classified in the "high superior" range (that is the literal term on the forms we got back from the Child Study Center some years ago. Yes, he's smart but he hates school with a passion because it's about repetition in many of the classes and he can really only stand to hear something once. If you bore him he'll pay no attention at all but this kid still managed great grades. Anyway, because of this personality tic I figured college was out for him, but when he surprised us and said he wanted to go we were all for it.

Two peas in a pod!

But when it came to Ryan we've known for a few years that college was a definite thing for her. She knows exactly what she wants to do (audiology) and she's really got a plan. We were thrilled when she chose a D1 school that was only about 45 minutes from us so that we could watch all her home games and maybe even a few away games... plus, they were the only school willing to let her play two sports. All the bases were covered.

I've been slowly buying all of her dorm stuff, catching all her kitchen stuff on sale at T@rget most of the time and just getting all the other stuff as I came across it. We picked up the remaining school/office stuff that she wanted yesterday at T@rget (another $150 trip) and was all prepared for her orientation/registration today so that she could start in the Summer II session begining July 7. They told her she'd move into her dorm on the 5th. Fine. Great... I was ready. (ok, that might not be totally honest!)

Like all other parents, I'd think she is beautiful no matter what!

Then, when we met with the coaches today they handed her the dorm key because her roommate is moving in today since she's from Houston. Wait.... what? When? Oh no! She's moving in tomorrow morning and truthfully I can't blame her. She's so excited and I would feel exactly the same way. I DO feel the same way for her... but for me, today, my heart is breaking.

There is almost no one on the planet who can piss me off like she can and we can fight with the best of them. But most of the time she has this sunny personality that's just so bubbly and fun that you can't help but smile. Everyone says that about her... her teachers, coaches, teammates (alright, maybe not team mates!) She's really just a sweet kid.

Ok, maybe "no matter what" is a bit far! LMAO! I was so worried this hit broke her perfect nose!

It's hard thinking that when I wake up Sunday morning she'll not be here. Yeah, yeah... she'll only be 45 minutes away, but she won't be here. I know it sounds like I'm planning a funeral instead of a move and I really don't mean to sound so melodramatic, I'm just naturally good at that! Seriously, I'm happy for her and SO excited about the next few years but there's just a tiny hole in my soul today.

I'm just not ready. Not yet.

We were so tired from the long drive to Atlanta, but awake enough for a good hug!