KG's Hideaway

I am SO sick. I really could just throw in the towel right now. My body and mind is ready to quit, I'm just so tired. There's nothing left... no energy.Everything hurts. Everytime I cough it feel like my face is going to disintegrate. I've never felt my teeth were part of some other system, rigged to torture me through my lungs should the need to cough arise. Surely designed by the Chinese. Those bastards.

At the doctor's office yesterday for my epdural the nurses told me that I was not my funny, cheery self and it was evident that I was ill ("ill" doesn't quite cover it) so I couldn't lie and I told them I had been to the doctor the day before and he told me I was having a reaction in my lungs-all true-but since I hadn't started the antibiotic yet, I could go ahead with the steriod treatment AND he went ahead and added a antbiotic treatment with the steroid treatment.
I knew I shouldn't have done it since I was so sick but I needed to get this last one done, so I did. (2:31 edit- just got phone call from doc- it's officially pneumonia. Great. Now it's just a matter of finding a way to stay out of the hospital. I don't have a good track record with that when I've had it before.BUT while it's all good that I got that done, I feel like shit from being sick and the threat of getting sicker is REALLY scaring me. SO dangerous and selfish!!! My sister is in the hospital and I needed to be available to help my dad with the baby in case he has to go help my mom with my sister. I mean, there is a whole list of shit and YES I'm including myself in there and I know that's selfish, but it's honsest... so there!

Now I'm getting some sleep. I have gotten any sleep in two or three nights.
Edit 1:10pm- haven't gotten one wink of sleep. I'm exhausted and I'm miserable.