What Does 3:58am Mean To You?
It means "I'M AWAKE AGAIN!" God Damnit. I'm so tired of being awake in the middle of the night. These freaking night terrors chase me to the edge of sleep until I wake up screaming or hitting Craig or running from my room, convinced that someone is chasing me. It's terrible. Tonight was the classic "spiders on the wall."
I don't know how to describe how awful this nightmare (with me it's be diagnosed as night terrors) is. Normally, I start seeing these huge spiders on the wall above my bed. They appear about the size of dinner plates and they are all over the wall. Craig wakes up and I'm trying to get him to see them but obviously he doesn't. I them get frustrated while he's trying to get me to wake up. I'm about half way there because I remember most of it but it's hazy. I'm absolutely, 100% terrified though.
Tonight's nightmare must have only been a nightmare because I woke up afraid but not out of control afraid, and I didn't wake him up to check on anything. So I woke him up for sex instead. Anyway.
My diet starts today. In earnest and I'm really bummed and excited about it at the same time. I'm going to lose xx lbs by the end of the month. Yes I know I didn't put the number of pounds in there but I know what they are and I will know if I do it or not. And I will.
I'm going to try and go back to sleep but I'm willing to bet it won't work. Hope I'm wrong.