KG's Hideaway

10-22-05 6:27am

Why the FUCK am I up at this unGODly hour? It's not that I woke up, it's that I haven't been to bed yet. I'm ready to choke at least one of my children, and beat another one til he screams for mercy. What the fuck happened to my perfect little bubble?

Before I go into this, I just want to say that I know I brag on my kids way too much for some people. I get that. But I'm a firm believer that ALL parents should think their kids are the smartest, funniest, cutest, everything-est kids on the planet. That's how it's supposed to be, right? So I'm pissed off at them right now, but it'll pass... so... here goes:

Austin is about to get himself into trouble. I can see it coming. I was the recipient of a little message today that I wasn't meant to hear. I really want to throttle him right now, but I think he's just about at his limit.

Last Friday, he came home for some stuff and left to go back to Stephenville about 9. It's about an hour and 15 minute drive for him, so when my cell phone range 30 minutes into it I knew it was bad. He'd gotten run off the road in Grandbury (did I write about this?). A car ran him into a median (on a bridge!!!) and he hit a yield sign that busted completely through the sunroof and came into the passenger seat. Luckily, we found another Lexus at a junkyard so he pulled the sunroof out of that one and put it in his car. The roof is still caved in a little but he'll get that fixed later on. But he was really at the end of his rope that day because he and Amanda had finally decided to call it quits. She really didn't appreciate Austin being "caught on tape" licking the thigh of two lesbians who were having sex in one of his buddies dorm room... with about 20 guys watching! Craig really can't figure out what she's so pissed about... he was ready to high-five Austin when he heard about it! LOL Don't get me wrong... I understand why she's pissed, but Jesus H Christ, I don't know a single man (including my own father) who wouldn't have wanted to watch. Now, maybe it was the "licking her thighs) thing that crossed the line, but good God, what is a boy supposed to do at college? haha

Anyway, people are trying to get him to either give them his ADD meds or sell it to them. I'd like to think that he wouldn't do it, but I'm worried. We're gonna have a little talk tomorrow. After I deal with my freakin' daughter.

She told me she was going to be in a certain place tonight and she actually was in another place... with someone that she KNOWS I don't want her around. And she lied about it. (Pretty stupid considering our town has all of 5thousand people in it. Everybody knows everybody else's business around here and that's how I like it. 15 minutes from "the city" but basically in the sticks as far as the rumor mill goes. Know what I mean?) So, I stop her in the middle of her lies and tell her in a very calm manner (calm scares my kids because they know that means I'm REALLY pissed!) that if she even starts to say a single word that is a lie I will beat her senseless and I'd do it in front of her friend that is spending the night (and in on the lies, I might add). Oddly enough, she decided that was the appropriate time to "come clean"... as if I hadn't already figured the whole thing out.

So now I'm sitting here, pissed off at them for being kids and doing stupid things so then I end up pissed off at myself for being pissed of at them being kids. Jesus, I need a shrink. or medication. Wait, no meds. I'm tired of pills. Maybe just a shrink to put a few dirty thoughts in my brain that my lovely hubby would enjoy. Poor guy. (that's another story for another time)

Okay, back to Austin and Amanda the lesbians... he knows he fucked up but he's a cute guy so he's getting hit on and enjoying it. He and Amanda had been together for almost 3 years, so maybe it was just time. Here is a pic of him from about 4 months ago

I know none of this is serious... yet. But it certainly has the potential to GET serious and I just don't know how I want to handle it. I'm sooooooo disappointed. Fucking kids. I love the shit out of 'em, but they're driving me crazy! I guess I'm payin for my raising.

God Damnit, Johnny Depp is so fucking hot. I just bawled my eyes out watching Finding Neverland.