Blah
5-23-05 1:01pm
I've been meaning to go lay down for a couple of hours, but one thing or the other keeps getting in my way. We've been waiting on the insurance company to cut us a check for Austin's Mazda. They totaled it out, so they're coming to get it tomorrow. We didn't get the Lexus in his name until today so he's out scooting around town in it. The insurance company is giving us more than $1300 more than we paid for it. How the hell did that happen? I mean, don't they use some mixture between the Kelly Blue Book and the average to replace a similar car in your area? I must have that REALLY wrong... or they do! Oh well, I'm not going to complain.
It seems strange that Austin didn't have to leave for school this morning. He's done with it, until September when he starts at the university. He'll turn 18 only a week before his freshman year of college starts, and I really worry about whether or not I've taught him enough to be well equipped to go out into society. That scares me, but he's a good kid. Plus, his girlfriend and his best friend are good kids, too and since he'll be with the two of them while at Tarleton, it should ease my worry some.
This weekend just took everything out of me. My nerves are shot. I've gotten angry and said things I shouldn't have. Poor Craig just takes it on the chin when I take it out on him. What in the world have I done to deserve a man like that? He never tells me "No" and there has never been a time when I asked for something and not gotten it. He drove my truck to work one day and accidentally scraped against a wing wall and scratched up the passenger side door. He felt so bad about it that he bought me a brand new truck about a week later. A red one. I LOVE it. He accepts my love of jewelry and spoils me rotten with it. I love him for all of that, but that's not WHY I love him.
I love Craig for who he is. He's a man of integrity and lives a life that is a wonderful example for our kids and has few regrets. He loves with all of his heart and expects nothing in return. I love his laugh, his eyes, his smile, his goofy toes, his heart, his insane love of golf... and his ability to love me in the face of so many reasons not to. Hard NOT to love the man.
I'm finally going to lay down. My head hurts so bad and I'm more tired than normal. I have a dr's appointment tomorrow and I'm going to have to recount all the problems I'm having right now. I have chronic pain syndrome as well as arthritis of the spine (from years of gymnastics) as well as Degenrative disc disease. The pain can sometimes be unbearable, and today is one of those days. As soon as my boneless wings are here, I'm off to bed. Hopefully, until tomorrow morning. kdgr